I am the child in the story of Emperor's New Clothes

Recently, I saw some news that 2011 Society for Neuroscience annual meeting in Washington, D.C., Lead author Barry Komisaruk, professor of psychology at Rutgers University, imaged brain activity in several women who were able to masturbate to orgasm in the decidedly unsexy atmosphere of a functional MRI machine. The scientists claim that the only thing that a woman’s orgasm can be compared to, at a brain level, is the epileptic seizure. Not only did they claim this, but they have proven the similarity through a test which consisted in scanning the brain during the actual orgasm. In short, Professor Komisaruk believes he has solved mystery of female orgasm and claims that the female orgasm can be compared to the epileptic seizure.

I just felt very ridiculous, when I saw this news. I can’t help myself to ask one question to them “why don’t you use MRI to research male orgasm? I don’t know the feasibility of their testing methodology, but I know this conclusion the got have No Value at all. This is just a farce in my eyes like the reality version of the story of emperor’s new clothes. I just want to say all so-called experts are all deceived by fake female orgasm and that female status like epileptic seizure is not real female orgasm at all.

Why do a group of the world's top scientists believe such a lie? The key point is that women themselves are not clear what the real female orgasm is. They always think that urinary incontinence and some water (urine) gushed from the urethra is real female orgasm. This is a huge mistake. Women have been in pursuit of the so-called mysterious female orgasm for so many years, but until now female orgasm is still in dark. In fact, women and men have the same orgasm pattern and process, and female body also has a system that keeps it from being able to orgasm and urinate at the same time, and female also require time to switch back to urine mode after orgasm mode, and after every orgasm women also have refractory period. I think unless women themselves experience that feeling personally, otherwise they have very difficulty to believe what I said.

Poor woman is like the same poor emperor in the story of Emperor's New Clothes. They are asked to have orgasm, and asked to be normal. Such a request leads to one result―female totally confused, and they don’t know what the real female orgasm is and what exactly feeling they are supposed to feel. They mistakenly believe the feeling like urinary incontinence by men’s puncture or urine gushed from the urethra is female orgasm, because that feeling during sex puncture is indeed special and really different from other feeling in daily life. The key logic is here, X (a special feeling) is not A (common feeling), but it doesn’t mean X (a special feeling) is B (a real orgasm). I think no one would deny this logic. Woman is like the emperor in the story. The emperor is not sure whether he is wearing clothes or not, but when every body says “How beautifully they fit. What material! What colours! It is a gorgeous suit! ”, the emperor is confused too, and acts like he really has clothes on, and wishes no one can notice he could see nothing and he is not stupid and he is fit to be emperor. In fact, “but he has nothing on!” said a little child at last. Women are also afraid of other people think they are abnormal and not fit for women, before they really figure out what the orgasm is, they could not wait to announce “I can get female orgasm”, and they are indeed addicted to acting more and more like they really have orgasm.

I think it is not exaggerated to use the story of emperor's new clothes as metaphor to women female orgasm. All people have high expectation to female orgasm, and everyone wants to know how crazy and magical female orgasm. They focus all attention on hypocritical surface of so-called female orgasm, but all ignore the nature of the orgasm, like people ignore the nature role of clothes is keeping "warm". The only purpose of orgasm is to release your body and spirit, and is not concerned about how others look at your orgasm. Women seem must have orgasm, or your husband is not doing well. The main reason women can’t get orgasm is on their own self. Women generally too care about what others say and whether men think they have orgasm, but not orgasm itself. Women only care men’s behavior, and can’t focus all attention to the sex and themselves. I think concentration on self-body is the first thing if women want to learn orgasm.

I hope this farce at Society for Neuroscience annual meeting in Washington, D.C. can stop, please stop grandstanding. I will expose you as the child in the story of Emperor's New Clothes― “but he has nothing on!”.

I like a senior quote by Jane Rizzoli in Rizzoli & Isles TV show in S213.

 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Give this sentence to all women of the world, and we encourage each other along.

Physical satisfaction and emotional satisfaction

Some sexual experts say the difference between the two genders is that, men need sex for love and women need love for sex. This sentence indeed got the plight women are facing. Many sexual experts try to find the differences between men and women to give a reasonable explanation for sex attitudes. In Non-linear, Basson model clarifies that the goal of sexual activity for women is not necessarily orgasm but rather personal satisfaction, which can manifest as physical satisfaction (orgasm) and/ or emotional satisfaction (a feeling of intimacy and connection with a partner). She proposed two important concepts: physical satisfaction and emotional satisfaction, but she seriously underestimated the natural and important function of physical satisfaction (orgasm) for women, and exaggerated the function of emotional satisfaction for women, and tried to mislead the female physical satisfaction can be replaced by emotional satisfaction. Dr. Basson doesn’t realize that physical satisfaction (orgasm) is also irreplaceable for women as same as men.

Here, I emphasize the importance of physical satisfaction, but it doesn’t mean I think emotional satisfaction is unimportant. Both concepts are totally different from each other, and the only common thing about these two is that both are feelings for a person. Physical satisfaction purely satisfies one’s physical desires while emotional satisfaction is solely meant to satisfy one’s spiritual.

Physical satisfaction (orgasm) is a selfish act as it only pleases a person’s physical desire usually associated to man’s sexual demands. In fact, this is not only a man needs, but also a woman needs. The physical desire is an unavoidable natural force which usually related to sexual release. You can get physical satisfaction through touch someone or fantasy for someone in an obscene manner. The last purpose is only an orgasm to release your body, and it is like the function of food for human, and I think you don’t pick the food, when you are hungry and urgent to eat.

Emotional satisfaction (a feeling of intimacy and connection with a partner) is an unselfish act of giving affection to a person. It satisfies a person’s emotional and spiritual needs and commonly used to express an act of unselfishness and affection. I think you must want to have a connection with him/her, if you are in love with someone. There is normal emotional desire.

Physical satisfaction is simple and emotional satisfaction is complex; physical satisfaction is basic level and emotional satisfaction is high level. That is why men want some affairs with some women they even unknown, though the results they got are same. Human wants get emotional satisfaction after get physical satisfaction easily. It is also like you must want to have a little change for your food, if you have choice. I think so far the woman is not qualified to talk about emotional satisfaction. It doesn’t mean I ignore women's emotions, I just don’t want women confuse the both concepts. I just think the first job for women is figure out what the physical satisfaction, and then talk about emotional satisfaction, or you will live in the story of Emperor's New Clothes forever.

Love is love, sex is sex. You should love the soul, when you are in love with someone. You just need a hearty orgasm to release yourself, when you have a physical sexual desire.

Low sex drive in women can be explained by Pavlov’s Classical Conditioning and Skinner’s Operant Conditioning

Almost all husbands are complaining that their wives have the low sexual drive and never initiate sex with them, and of course they can’t get enough satisfactory from their wives. The low sex drive in women becomes the main excuse for men’s cheating, and all women are also stuck by this problem.

Many explanations have been given to this problem. Some experts say women were born with low sex drive, and some say women don’t deserve the high sex desire, because the value of women existence is reproduction, and some say woman's desire for sex is based on a complex interaction of many components affecting intimacy, including physical well-being, emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle and current relationship. A wide range of illnesses, physical changes, medications and hormone levels may change desire for sex. According to sex educator and researcher Beverly Whipple in her circular Model proposed in 1997, she demonstrated that pleasant and satisfying sexual experiences may have a reinforcing effect on a woman, leading to the seduction phase of the next sexual experience. If, during reflection, the sexual experience did not provide pleasure and satisfaction, the woman may not have a desire to repeat the experience. Hers view itself is not wrong, but unfortunately the main point is women not only never got real satisfaction, but also they have no idea what they really need. Whipple’ theory gives me some inspiration about how to describe human sex desire accurately.

Here, I propose a new view based on Pavlov’s classical conditioning and Skinner’s operant conditioning to give people a real reason for women’ low sex drive.

Key concepts of Pavlov’s classical conditioning

Unconditioned Stimulus (UCS): A stimulus that elicits a response without conditioning. In Pavlov’s typical research this UCS was food.

Unconditioned Response (UCR): Automatic response elicited by the unconditioned stimulus (UCS). In Pavlov’s typical research this UCR was salivation.

Conditioned Stimulus (CS): A neutral stimulus that when paired with an unconditioned stimulus (UCS) elicits a similar response. In Pavlov’s typical research this CS was bell.

Conditioned Response (CR): A response that is learned by pairing the originally neutral conditioned stimulus (CS) with the unconditioned stimulus (UCS). In Pavlov’s typical research this CR was dog would salivate at the bell.

All his researches were based on unconditioned stimulus can elicit unconditioned response. Chart 1 is the core of Pavlov’s theory.

Pavlov’s study is forward extension, depended on the chart 1. He tried to find whether something else like a neutral stimulus can elicit an unconditioned response except an unconditioned stimulus (ie 2). Before paired with an unconditioned stimulus, a conditioned stimulus can’t elicit an unconditioned response (ie 3).

 

Before learning

During learning

Higher order conditioning

Complex higher order conditioning

After learning

In classical conditioning, Pavlov modified or replaced the stimulus that leads to a given response by a different stimulus, and he described an involuntary or automatic response to a stimulus. But important thing is Pavlov didn’t do a test - what would happen, if the dog didn’t get the food after every time it already salivated. In other words, the classical conditioning theory ignored the research about “reward” after dog had UCR. This problem is the key to explain why women suffer Low sex drive. I guess here the UCR is not extinct, whatever dog get a reward or not, and it means dog still have salivation, even though can’t get food every time. The reason I will explain later.

Skinner’s study is backwards extension after a response (ie 8). In his “Skinner Box”, he found positive reinforcement strengthens a behavior by providing a consequence an individual finds rewarding. The consequence of receiving food if rats pressed the lever ensured that they would repeat the action again and again (ie 9). When a particular stimulus-response pattern is reinforced (rewarded), the individual is conditioned to respond. Reinforcement is the key element in Skinner’s operant conditioning. Operant conditioning is distinguished from classical conditioning in that operant conditioning deals with the modification of "voluntary behavior" or operant behavior.

In my own opinion, the combination of these two theories just can explain why women suffer low sex drive. Let me analyze the difference of sex drive between male and female one by one, and why men have higher sex drive than women. The main problem is in the women, not in men.

Male sexual cycle is a complete closed (ie 10). UCS is genital touch directly, and UCR is penis erection. Unconditioned response (erection) elicited by the unconditioned stimulus (genital touch directly). The only reward male can get is orgasm. Because man can get an orgasm as reward during a sex action like rat gets food after press the lever, they have high desire to repeat the action again and again. Positive reinforcement strengthens male sex action by providing a consequence man finds rewarding. That is the key why men have so high sex desire. After repeat this closed cycle again and again, some conditioned stimulus like porn or some neutral stimulus even not related to sex at all successfully paired with an unconditioned stimulus (genital touch directly) also can elicits a similar response(penis erection). That is why so many things can hook men up and men can think about sex every 15 seconds. That is a normal phenomenon. 

Why do women have low sex drive? Unfortunately, female sexual cycle is not closed (ie 11). In other words, women can’t get orgasm as reward is the key why women suffer low sex drive. After time and time again, punishment will weaken or eliminate female sex action by not providing a consequence as male’ orgasm. As time goes by, women think sex is a chore and have no interest in it. Because female sexual cycle is not closed, women never get a normal physical satisfaction at all, no more talking about some other neutral stimulus, of course the consequence is behavior which is not reinforced tends to die out or be extinguished.

Skinner’s theory said when using consequences to modify a response, the effectiveness of a consequence can be increased or decreased by various factors. These factors can apply to either reinforcing or punishing consequences. I think this view just can explain some different phenomena between men and women.

1 Satiation/Deprivation: The effectiveness of a consequence will be reduced if the individual's "appetite" for that source of stimulation has been satisfied. This point just can explain why men will lose interest in sex immediately, when after they get an orgasm, because men’s “appetite” for sex has already been satisfied like the dog is not going to eat anymore if already full, until it gets hungry again.

2 Immediacy: After a response, how immediately a consequence is then felt determines the effectiveness of the consequence. More immediate feedback will be more effective than less immediate feedback. This point just can explain why men don’t want be distracted after he already have an erection, because long time interval maybe will make the response failure. A proverb: strike while the iron is hot.

3 Contingency: If a consequence does not contingently (reliably, or consistently) follow the target response, its effectiveness upon the response is reduced. This point just can explain why men always are players and like the new and loathe the old, because the same sex with same people will reduce their desire for sex.

4 Size: This is a "cost-benefit" determinant of whether a consequence will be effective. If the size, or amount, of the consequence is large enough to be worth the effort, the consequence will be more effective upon the behavior. These opposing expected consequences (reinforcing and punishing) balance out will determine whether the behavior is performed or not. This point can explain why men always work hard in sex, not for the women, for themselves. Because the consequence of a sex (orgasm) is men’s core interests, of course they think it is large enough to be worth exhaustion. This point is also why women offer low sex drive, because they can’t find the core benefit (orgasm) during a sex, of course they don’t want to waste any time, any strength or any energy to do such a thing. The pursuit of orgasm is a subjective skeletal muscle activity and required to pay the cost, not like the passive salivary secretion

Use Thorndike’s law of effect to explain why such difference sex desire and drive between female and male, and why difficult woman have orgasm.

Responses that produce a satisfying effect in a particular situation become more likely to occur again in that situation.

Responses that produce a discomforting effect become less likely to occur again in that situation.

Now I am going to answer previous question- I didn’t do any experiments on dog, but I think dog still have salivation until dead, even though can’t get any food. It is because unconditioned response (UCR) elicited by the unconditioned stimulus (UCS) is controlled by animals born nervous system, not by animals themselves. The animal's physiological instinct response must exist, until the nervous system is cut off. (Like sham feeding in Pavlov’s experiment, Pavlov cut off the dog’s fibers of the vagus nerve, and then secretion of gastric juice stopped). Women’s problem is similar to the dog’s. Women also have the UCR (like arousal, vaginal moistness and clitoris shaft erection), when they passively accept the genital stimulus directly, even though they can’t get the reward (orgasm). Women are unwilling to accept the stimulation subjectively, no more talking about the foundation between UCR and CR, because all their efforts for sex are futile.

I know Skinner’s theory had his own disadvantage, he did not consider the animal's emotional factors. If a man loves his wife so much, maybe he doesn’t have a sex with other woman who already hooks him up, but it doesn’t mean the man don’t want to, it just means he can’t. I think if we add too much emotional factors to the research on human’s basic activities, it will make the situation too complicated. In my opinion, this is unnecessary. Any complex situation is superimposed by a series of simple cases, but just the composite process is complex, mutual restraint and recycled. It may confuse people to know the nature of complex things.

Finally, I agree with one of Skinner’s views very much - The best way to understand behavior is to look at the causes of an action and its consequences.

A New Female Sexual Response Model

Recently, a friend of mine from Portugal gave me some advice about my new theory of female orgasm, although what he said are more platitude and useless, but he indeed gave me some clues about female sexual response model. I check on the internet for all about female sexual response models, and there are three in all.

1, Linear Model by Masters and Johnson in 1966

2, Circular Model by Beverly Whipple and Brash-McGreer in 1997

3, Non-linear Model by Basson R

I analyze advantages and disadvantages of these three models one by one and finally construct my own female sexual response model. Excuse my rudeness, and I don't mean to offend anyone, just for the sake of discussion.

Linear Model (Masters and Johnson in 1966)

Advantages: They proposed this Linear model of sexual response for both men and women and assumed that men and women have similar sexual responses. Their assumption is absolute correct, but unfortunately the later generations completely deny this and consequently make the female orgasm as a mystery for decades.

Disadvantages: 1, Linear Model denies the uniqueness of female orgasm and believes the different responses different women may have or an individual woman may have on different occasions. I wonder how they get such a conclusion, since they already assume that men and women have similar sexual responses. Do they also believe that an individual man may have different sexual response pattern? The conclusion they got to the assumption they proposed is a paradox.

  

                         2, they think orgasm for women is an occasional occurrence and Beverly Whipple helps them to explain that women may not even experience all of the phases-for example, they may move from sexual arousal to orgasm and satisfaction without experiencing sexual desire, or they can experience desire, arousal, and satisfaction but not orgasm. This explanation is a bigger mistake. Female sexual response if without orgasm is not complete. Women are just as a sex tool, if they can’t experience orgasm during every sex. Does she believe that orgasm for men can also be an occasional occurrence? Nonsense!!!

                       3, this model is an ideal model, and don't consider the environmental factors, so  Masters and Johnson don't add the concept of distraction and circulation to this model.

                       4, The Refractory period is not reflected on the curve. Of course they never expect that female also have refractory period. They didn’t mention the repulsion between two orgasms, no matter in one person, or in two persons. A person can not get two orgasms at the same time, and two persons can’t get their own orgasms from each other at the same time.

Circular Model (Beverly Whipple and Brash-McGreer in 1997)

Advantages: They add the concept of circulation to the model.

Disadvantages: Circulation of this model shows how pleasure and satisfaction during one sexual experience can lead to the seduction phase of the next sexual experience. This Sentence itself is not wrong, but this circulation is built on a wrong foundation, which considers women can get multiple orgasms during one intercourse. This is the biggest mistake. Only a complete sexual experience with orgasm can lead women to the next sexual desire, of course must after refractory period. Women never have the ability to get multiple orgasms, and Beverly’ wrong view mislead people to a wrong direction.

Non-linear Model (Basson R)

Advantages: Except the circulation, this model proposes other two important concepts: physical satisfaction (orgasm) and emotional satisfaction (a feeling of intimacy and connection with a partner).

Disadvantages: Basson clarifies that the goal of sexual activity for women is not necessarily orgasm but rather personal satisfaction. His argument completely strangles the importance of orgasm and overestimates emotional satisfaction and intimacy during sexual life for women. He seriously ignores physical satisfaction (orgasm) is also irreplaceable for women as same as men. I want to ask all males: do you think intimacy can replace orgasm in your sex? I think all answers are negative. If push males to pick the one from the two, I bet they all choose the orgasm, not intimacy, of course men want them both. Frankly speaking, men are already lucky enough compared to women, because so far women don’t figure out the two options.

The three models are not accurate to describe the real female sexual response, I construct a new model, and let me illustrate in details.

Firstly, I should pronounce that every woman can respond to sexual stimulation as same as every man, although there is no exact same sexual response between any two individuals, but the basic pattern is shared by all human beings, regardless of gender. This mode is not only for women, but also for all human being. In order to describe the sexual response accurately, I add the concept of the flow chart to my model, the green lines represent the whole process of sexual response.

During T₁, at the beginning, human is in daily life, and the sexual response level is in normal and not aroused yet.

During T₂, frankly speaking, desire depends on the body's instincts. A view of Beverly Whipple (satisfaction during one sexual experience can lead to the seduction phase of the next sexual experience) was right, but the problem is women never get satisfaction without orgasm, that is why women think sex is a chore, and why men always initiate sex with women but women don't, and why men think about sex every 15 seconds but women can't. I bet women will also think about sex every 10 seconds, if every time women can have orgasm.

 

During T3, in short, this is a preparation process. When a woman has the desire and wants to put it into practice, she needs someone or something to hook her up in physical. Many things can make women have excitement, such as smell, voice, words and porn. At this time, psychological factors play a decisive role in this phase and the fantasies are really helpful, then body starts to have some changes. The most obvious sign of sexual excitement in the male is the erection of his penis, and the most obvious sign of sexual excitement in female is lubrication of the vagina, but all people ignore the other important sign in female - erection of clitoral shaft. The length of T3 is related to your age, physical condition, and how urgency. When women are very young and good health, T3→0.

        Of course we can put T2 and T3 together. When women get aroused suddenly by an accident someone or something very special, T23→0. Women can feel distension and nerve beating of clitoral right way, and then can’t move legs anymore. She should only just stand there, until the strong feelings gone, and then she comes back to the normal level T1. When women already in T23, but she thinks it is not the right time to do this things or she is distracted by something or someone, she can give up the original plan and comes back to the normal, of course she can repeat it again during T23 itself.

        During T4, this is a brewing process. When woman's physical and psychological are ready, she is going to take action. She will twist ass unconsciously and squeeze the clitoral shaft with a proper rhythm and power. Fantasies also play a decisive role here. At the beginning of phase plateau, the slope of the curve is approximately zero, but as the acceleration of the movement, the slope rapidly becomes larger. The curve quickly gets high, and this time she feels her body almost out of her control, and she must stop to squeeze the clitoral and have a break, if she doesn’t want to orgasm quickly. She stops for a while or Change position to make the curve back to the beginning of phase plateau or T23, of course, she can come back to the normal, but it is so hard for her. When she finds the game is enough and wants to get the last shudder of climax, she can’t stop and should continue to accelerate and accelerate more and more, then she orgasms. The length of T4 is related to your age, physical condition and how long you orgasm the last time. Women also need longer to orgasm than the last time, if she gets several orgasms during one night. Be careful, Very serious consequences.

        During T5 and T6, both of them are very short. When she enters the orgasm mode, she can’t stop any longer, until done it. This process is irreversible. Orgasm almost lasts about 7 seconds, and the curve during T6 falls down instantaneously, then after that women fall into sleep immediately. The most visible physiological change during this period is the loss of erection of clitoral shaft.

        During T7, women enter the refractory period, and she loses her all interests about sex immediately and just need to sleep. In this phase, she can’t get aroused and the capability to another erection or another orgasm. She couldn't concentrate her attention any more, even though she doesn’t have the conditions to sleep, until this period of time has elapsed. Women just come back to normal, and have the capability to get into another sex again.The refractory period may be very short in some individuals, especially while they are young, but it usually becomes longer with advancing age.
 

Porn can not be banned forever, because the fantasies are really helped for everyone.

A lot of my female colleagues around me are very curious why their husbands like to watch porn so much, and these women really can’t figure out how fun it is. When I told them I also like to watch porn, they all got big surprise and give me a strange look like I am a freaky girl. That scene made me very embarrassed, because I don’t know what I can explain and how I can explain. I only can keep silent.

    I think this question not only plagued my female colleagues around me, but also all women around the world. They think watching naked flesh makes them some kind of queasy, and they all advocate porn should be banned from the internet.

    I don’t think so. I think porn can not be banned forever, because the fantasies are really helped for everyone. I believe that every adult man has seen porn and often saw, whether Presidents, Prime Ministers, or Civilian. Maybe they don’t love to see it, but they need to see it. That is the human nature. In my view watching porn is a highly cost-effective thing, when you want to orgasm and release yourself. Orgasm is not simple physiological functions like eat, drink or something, it contains complex nerve conduction. First, subjectively you need an orgasm to release yourself. Second, in order to complete orgasm, you need to find an objective to arouse your sexual organs. Porn is useful now. You can use visual stimulation to let you have physiological responses. This is the most direct and highly cost-effective way. Finally, when you are ready, you can masturbate or find someone to orgasm.

    Why don’t women understand men like to see porn? Only one reason: women can’t get orgasm at all. I know there are many women out against what I said, but unfortunately I am right. Give you a very simple example: Woman's status is as same as the French wine in China. You know why the French wine are almost all counterfeit in China? Two reasons: First, also most important reason, Chinese people never never have drink real French wine, of course they can’t distinguish between genuine or counterfeit. Second, face is a concept of central importance because of its pervasive influence in interpersonal relations among Chinese, and the drinking French wine attach too much importance to 'face', people don’t want to expose it, if when they find some thing wrong with the French wine they drink. These two reasons are also applied to women for the female orgasm. Women don’t have an idea about female orgasm, they don’t even know what the female orgasm is, how to get orgasm. When I watch the porn, my attention is very focused, because I know I need some changes in myself. After a while, I can feel I am wet, of course it is not a necessary condition, but important thing I can feel my nerves jumping in my clitoral shaft, that feeling is very strong and with heart resonance sometimes. That is my physiological responses, I can’t help it. Then I am ready to orgasm I know that. I only have to waste about 1 minute to squeeze my clitoral shaft to get about 10 seconds shudder of climax. That is it.

    Porn will never disappear, people really need it. Some countries under the cover name of anti-pornography have strict controls on the internet and establish the Great Firewall, and they have only one purpose: maintain their tyranny and dictatorship. It is time to wake up.

Unlocking the mystery of female orgasm will be the last straw that broke the same-sex marriage illegal.

Today, there are more and more countries recognize same-sex marriage relationship, the homosexuality is legally recognized in Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, and Sweden. In the United States, same-sex marriages are not recognized federally, though same-sex couples can marry in six states and one district. But compared with more than 200 countries and regions around the world, there is too little. The following figures are all provided by Wiki.

    This figure clearly shows that the countries which recognize same-sex marriage legal are concentrated in Western Europe and the Americas where human rights and democracy are very advanced. In many countries from Asia and Africa, the governments don’t only recognize same-sex marriage legal, but sanction the same-sex relationships. It essentially illustrates that the Universal values of Western (peace, freedom, social progress, equal, rights and human dignity) need a long fight with Asian values (dictatorships and authoritarian) and African values (tribal culture).

    It is inconceivable that the federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage in the United States, who prides itself on being the most advanced, most free, most democratic. In this area, the U.S. does fall behind Europe. I think President Obama still have so many important issues to reform, except the economic and health care reform. I believe the institution of marriage is a union not only between one man and one woman. I sincerely hope that the United States can set an example for all people around the world to bring them the real human rights and democracy.

    In fact, it is very simple to judge the legality of same-sex marriage. The only one important thing is what the essence of marriage is or why two people want to get married. We should figure this out before we judge the same-sex marriage legal or illegal. In my opinion, the essence of marriage is: sex, love and commitment. If two individuals have these three things, they will be able to get married, whatever heterosexual or homosexual. About the love and promise, I think no one would deny that the same sex can have love and commitment to each other. So far we are not sure what exactly make two people love each other-Similarity or complementarity? On this issue, Nature has spoken: Same-sex loving' is common in hundreds of species and nearly all animal species exhibit same-sex behavior- from worms to frogs to birds -making the practice nearly universal among animals. I think the principle (the same-sex repulsion, opposites attract) can’t be applied to living animals. There is only one obstacle left to legality of same-sex marriage- sexual act. In different eras, cultures, and religions, homosexual behavior has been tolerated, punished, or banned, and they think the same sex behavior is a sin and some kind of shame. But when you jump out of the religion, you should know first what the purpose the sexual behavior is, only for reproduction? No, I don’t think so. I think not every sexual behavior has a reproductive function. Bingo! Every man knows the answer: sex behavior only has one purpose-orgasm, but unfortunately women don’t know that yet. The fact is the fact, whatever you know it or not. About orgasm, everybody knows that there is no male orgasm obstacle, and a male can get orgasm from whomever male or female, whatever use mouth or anus or any other parts of body. But female orgasm remains an evolutionary mystery so far. There are too many conjectures about female orgasm since Freud to Kinsey. Unfortunately, the conjecture is just conjecture, not the fact, and no one get the real answer to this mystery, and scientists continue to go along the wrong way.

    I am trying to correct this mistake and give the real fact of female orgasm to all people around the world, maybe there have a long way to go, maybe I need to pay a huge cost, but I do not fear, because I am a woman, I have an obligation and responsibility to tell the truth to all women of the world. I just feel very very isolated, and maybe I am destined to be lonely all my life. I hope not.

    One day, when the truth about female orgasm has come to light, when women can easily reach orgasm as same as men, I think there will be more and more countries and regions will support same-sex marriage. Unlocking the mystery of female orgasm will be the last straw that broke the same-sex marriage illegal. Only for one reason: orgasm is just shudder of climax whatever for a man or a woman, it will not be changed by anything or anybody homosexual or heterosexual.

    In one word: Nothing can stop two people fall in love with each other get married, even if they are the same sex.

Clitoral shaft is the key to get an orgasm for female.

After baffling biologists for decades, female orgasm remains an evolutionary mystery. Those scientists who claimed that only the clitoral can give women orgasm were just only half right, not exactly correct. They affirmed the importance of the clitoris for female orgasm, but they all put attentions on the clitoral glans, and ignored an important position-clitoral shaft. Few scientists have studied the role of clitoral shaft during female orgasm, so that I can’t find enough information about it on Google. It's no wonder, all people are focusing on the vagina, and no one pays any attention to a hidden organ.

The clitoral shaft is attached to the glans, just underneath the surface of the skin. The shaft is a round segment of spongy erectile tissue which can quickly fill with blood and thus cause the entire organ to stiffen and increase in size, and is very sensitive like the glans. It feels like a hard ridge about one-half to one inch long, and it rises toward the pubic mound for a short distance.

This hard ridge about one inch long is the key of female orgasm，and stimulation to the clitoral glans is not enough to an orgasm. In a traditional sexual intercourse, men usually took the initiative and dominated the sex, and they basically focused on the vagina puncture. Today, lots of men really want the women who they love to get female orgasm, then they use their mouths and fingers to stimulate women’s clitoral glans and vulva, but unfortunately only these methods are not enough to an orgasm. First, oral sex for women is no tricks, no direction, no rhythm, and men just wantonly play it, but ignore the important clitoral shaft which should be rubbed along its direction with great intensity and certain rhythm. Secondly, orgasm is a result of everyone’ initiative whatever male or female. The women must control the intensity and rhythm to the clitoral, and then you can get a real orgasm like sudden release of sexual tension.

According to my research, rubbing the root of clitoral shaft is enough, when you are about to an orgasm. After a real orgasm, women will have refractory period and fall asleep immediately.